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This is a photograph taken by Kevin Murphy Photography. I definitely look older than this now, but who wants to pay a photographer to take what will inevitably be a worse photograph? I suspect I'll keep this photo now til I die.

Begging For Work

What's An Abigail?

Hi! I'm Abigail and this is my page. I'm actually writing this. I'm not hiring someone to write this in order to promote my 'personal brand'. I'm typing this out myself because I don't make enough money to justify hiring some writer to write my home-page for me. Or maybe I do? Maybe I make so much money I can hire someone with the exact same writing style as me to write my website. Yeah! Huh? Right? Yeah? That's right! That's the kind of success I am! But who would I hire? Which writer could possibly have the same style as me, a writer? Well, I can only think of one person. And that woman's expensive! But I deserve the best! As a writer and as a web-page owner! And that, my friends is how I ended up paying myself to write this page and owing HMRC a whole big chunk of moolah.

How Should I Get In Touch?

For acting work please contact my agent Tara.

For screenwriting work please contact my agent Michele.

For books please contact my literary agent Millie.

For The Female Pilot Club please go here.

For stand up gigs or teaching screenwriting and sketch comedy feel free to contact me directly.

Everybody knows that people make their own website out of unbridled narcissism or to beg for work. That's the basic sub-text of any and all web copy. This text needs to fill the bits next to pictures of me looking better than in real life giving the impression that I am very successful and don't need the work while the sub-text screams HIRE ME. I'll demonstrate by putting the sub-text of everything I say in brackets and capitals.

 

I've just completed my first novel (I HAVEN'T BEEN PAID FOR AGES GIVE ME A GODDAMN JOB). Before that I was working on a popular kids TV programme (GIVE ME A GODDAMN JOB WRITING FOR CHILDREN) as well as an hour long radio drama (RADIO PAYS NOTHING GIVE ME A JOB). I have multiple projects in development (THE WORLD WILL BURN BEFORE MOST DEVELOPMENT PROJECTS GET MADE GIVE ME A JOB). You get the idea. Why not try adding your own sub-text to the next paragraph?

Mainly I'm a screenwriter and I sometimes, and if I've been staring at a computer too long I start to imagine doing stand up again will be fun and I do that, or I did in the BEFORE TIMES. I sometimes teach writing and acting. I also run the Female Pilot Club with Kay Stonham and Emily Chase. If you are looking for my poetry I've got a separate site here so it's not ruined by all the facetious comments.  (GIVE ME A JOB) - sorry I couldn't help it.